I am High Maintenance:

How many doctors does Linda need?

1.     One Radiologist to tell me “We're happy to tell you your mammogram is normal.”
2.  Another Radiologist to tell me “looks like cancer to me”

3.    A Gynecologist to tell me I might have cancer
4.     One surgeon to take off my breast
5.     Another surgeon to put a new one on
6.     A neurologist to tell the surgeons that surgery won’t fry my brain and give me another stroke
7.     A cardiologist that can’t tell me anything
8.  A another cardiologist to make me run on a treadmill and proclaim to the surgeons that I might not die              of a broken heart while they cut off my breast

9.     An Internist to make sure my blood is not too thick, or too thin, it’s got to be just right.     
10.  An oncologist to tell me ”See you after they cut the cancer out and I’ll make sure it doesn’t come back for more of your spare parts” I like this guy.
11.  A hospital administrator who doesn’t practice anymore but makes sure:
a.     I’m  not going to die of a broken heart or fried brain in her hospital
b.     I have enough money to pay for everything the insurance company doesn’t.
12. Oops I forgot the Hematologist for the genetic mutation I have. 

Yes in case you want to know I am descended from aliens.

Surgery is scheduled for this Thursday. It's ok to laugh I am trying to be funny.